The Opposite of Control is Trust

growth perfectionism Mar 21, 2024
Illustration of Charis Santillie pointing to scales with a locked lock on one side and an unlocked lock on the other side with a butterfly and the text The Opposite of Control is Trust
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🎧 👉 Prefer audio? You can also listen to me share about this in podcast episode #101 here.

I listen to a lot of podcasts and I made a note of something I heard Dr. Becky Kennedy say during a podcast interview. She said:

“The opposite of control is trust.”

— Dr. Becky Kennedy

Powerful, right?!

Let’s hear that again: The opposite of control is trust.

Control supposedly promises safety, predictability, and perfection. We plan, prepare, and strategize, believing that if we can anticipate every possible outcome, we'll be safe from life's uncertainty. 


Control is an illusion. 

Unexpected obstacles show up, plans change, and we repeatedly find ourselves facing the uncomfortable truth that we really don't have control over most of the things we think we have control over.

As we try so hard to control things, there's a quiet invitation waiting for us—an invitation to trust. Now, I’m not talking about just sitting back and not planning or taking action; I’m talking about allowing some space for flexibility, openness, and curiosity. 

Trust asks you to listen to its whisper of what to do next before you hear the loud village of voices in your head grasping for control.

Trust asks you to believe in your resilience.

Trust asks you to ask for and accept help.

Trust asks you to find strength in vulnerability. 

It's a simple yet significant shift from asking, "How can I prevent anything from going wrong?" to wondering, "What amazing opportunities and possibilities will unfold when I allow trust to show me the way?"

Sounds lovely, right? But, how do we make this shift?

It begins with tiny moments of awareness, where we find the space to hear the inner voice of trust and then choose differently based on what that voice tells us. Start small, with the most minor of moments. 

Maybe this will look like allowing someone else to take the lead, or saying yes to an unexpected invitation, or saying no to something you are actually dreading and don’t really need to do. Or maybe it will look like standing outside feeling the sunshine for a moment without an agenda.

As you practice pivoting from control to trust, you’ll discover a world packed with more possibilities, more experiences, more connections, and more growth than you could have ever planned for yourself. 

Trust opens you to the magic of the moments. 

Trust shines a light on the joy of serendipity.

Trust provides an inner strength.

As you move through your week, I invite you to notice moments where you can loosen your grip a little and let trust guide you. Believe me when I say you can handle whatever comes your way—not because you've controlled every detail but because you’ve come to trust yourself more than ever before.

 “Life is a journey to be experienced. Not a problem to be solved.”

— Winnie the Pooh

🎧 👉 Prefer audio? You can also listen to me share about this in podcast episode #101 here.

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